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When People Do Not Like You
Thursday, 19 February 2009
Over the past few days I have talked to a few people who are worried that somebody "doesn't like them". Heck, I've wondered that in the last week, too. It's just a natural thing. We all like to feel that we are well liked in our little microsociety.
Really, though, does it matter if someone likes you? We're all human and we're all prone to bad days. We all have bad habits. Even if we acted flawlessly, there are going to be occaisions where simple misinterpretation leaves one party in an exchange feeling offended.
I have lots of friends who other people don't like. One guy is contantly getting called "weird" or "a jerk", when I know him to have a soft centre like those little chocolates some people get on Valentines day. Not me, though lol
Sometimes, after a little while, people have changed their opinion. They will say: "Hey, you're alright, you know?" Sometimes they never get the chance to. But, one of my favourite things about that guy is that he doesn't care. Sure, if someone switches and warms to him, then he's happy. But if they still dislike him, then he's happy too. He's got his close friends, he's got self-confidence and he's content with himself. He's not even angry with the other person, he's entirely uncaring about their opinion.
My suggestion is that we all try to be like him. If you're rude to someone, for whatever reason, then make amends. Silly fights happen all the time. But don't kill yourself over it if they hold it against you. If we all spent time worry about what others think then we just couldn't cope.
I have had simmering tension with someone recently, and I am now a bit embarrased to say I was planning a big confrontation!
Writing this, though, it's put things into perspective. Big confrontations generally solve nothing. Someone else is fine to have their opinion of me, that's fine. We all know what I can be like! They're not 'right' about me. Just like with a news story, there's never just one 'truth' to a matter, and it is the same with people. But I'm a good person, that's good enough for me. If that's not for you, then that's a shame, and you're the only one who has to deal with it.
I try to judge people how I would want to be judged. At the end of the day, I'll like anyone as long as I think they're a good person deep down. They can have any of the personality flaws we all share or cause as much offense as they like -- but a good person is still a good person. Heck, one guy I know riles one of my close friends off the planet. But I look at the person and I just smile at all the stuff they do, because I know they wouldn't mean any of it if they truly knew what they did. And that's true of most people.
So maybe I've judged some people to harshly recently. Still, maybe not. Oh well.
Oh, and something Shellephant said that I kinda pertinant, and I also think is a good mindframe to strive for: "I'm alright, and everyone else is alright too."
This blog has left me quite happy and content! :)
Take it easy xoxo
Entry by Adam
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Since Thursday, 19 February 2009
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